Joke

Ran across this this morning, had to share...

Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

Updates...

I am due for a post updating the conditions with my family and friends down south. Start with my best friend in Houston. They are doing just fine, still without power but they are fine. It sounds like it was quite the experience for them. They had a couple of near accidents with branches breaking and falling into a window, but each branch that fell hit the house. The entire neighborhood was pretty fortunate with regard to structural damage. They are, however, missing a piece of fence. The neighbor across the street no longer has a fence, well it is there, but not serving the purpose of a fence... He and his wife are still without power, we were actually playing some trivia via text messaging there for awhile just to let you know how bored he was. So, yeah, no damage.

Now, down the bayou, it is a very different story. This is a picture of my grand mothers home in Houma, LA. No, she does not live in a house boat. Keep in mind, her house is 6 feet in the air just to give you an idea of how much water is there. Across the bayou, is my uncles house, he can't see any of his toilets... Needless to say, his house is not 6 feet in the air. Off to the right, out of picture, there is a camp that is about 14 feet in the air, kind of wish this was part of the picture to put more perspective to this, but I am sure you all get the picture. She did not stay in her home to wait out the storm, she went into town and is with another one of my uncles. So, everyone is fine, but lots of clean-up to do!

Blue is doing well, I think I may have found some food to mix in with Evo Innova to give us some good stool! I swear, I have tried so many foods over the past year, I have about 6 different bags of food I have not finished still in my closet. So, the magical food is Hund-N-Flocken Solid Gold. He has been on this for about a week now and we are seeing very healthy stools, I guess the only down side of the food is that there is quite a bit of stool. I am just glad is has some consistency. It is lamb based and made in the US, but I could have sworn the guy at the store said it was a German company. They have other foods with different ingredients, but we are going to try this one out for a while. They have something called Wolf King the main ingredient is Bison. Anyways here's hoping, he stays healthy and damn good looking! haha

Anyone out there running in the corporate run on September 25th? I am using this as a warm up for the greyhound run. I think this run will be more hilly than the greyhound run, so should be a good warm-up for me. I am done now, eveyone have a good week!

Ohhh Ike...

So, there is a 250 mile diameter hurricane ready to bear down on Houston. As some of you know, i was there not too long ago helping my best friend move into his new home in Sugar Land. Sugar Land is South West of Houston. In a phone call to him, he told me that he has viewed 9 predicted routes of where this storm is headed and there was only 1 that did not include it going his way. Part of our phone call:
Me: "hey man, you guys leaving the city?"
Brian: "nope"
Me: "you going to board up your windows?"
Brian: "nope"
Me: "you guys have enough supplies?"
Brian: "we have some tuna, big jar of peanut butter, loaf a bread some other things and a bunch of water. we are going to fill up the bath tubs with water, we filled a bunch of tupperware with water to make ice, we will be fine."
Something you have to understand about my best friend, we are very similar. Very laid back, pretty much an open book and not one to really plan ahead for things. His wife is very much his opposite and she is about in tears from this whole thing. Brian's rationale, this house has been here since 1982, I am sure it will be here after this storm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that my great grandmothers home in Houma, LA was just ripped in 3 pieces by Gustav and it has been there since the 1800's.

Anyways, the family in Houma was given the optional order of evacuation with this hurricane, mandatory for Gustav, nothing major happened and it took them a week to get back to their homes. So, pretty sure they are not leaving this time and I am sure this is the storm that will bring the water. I will be sure to pray for them crazy coonasses! ha-ha.

I wasn't paying attention this morning on the morning walk with Blue (I hate mornings! I love my bed...), well, he found a cat in the bushes where he was about to pee. Never have I seen a cat so scared for his life, Blue gave him a little nudge with his snout and he was off! Blue started to give chase, but decided against it cominced to his morning routine of watering every bush he comes across (had this been a rabbit, Blue would have torn my arm off and it would have been breakfast). It would have been like that time, when we were out west and Blue caught that jackalope... the antlers didn't digest well...

Walk your dog...

I use this picture for more than one reason. 1. It is probably my favorite picture of Blue. It is the first picture taken of him and it was the picture that was posted on the site when I adopted his silly butt. 2. Notice how the leash it taut and the collar is up near his neck, he is doing a fine statue impression. Blue has been mocking this pose on each one of our walks in the afternoon. We start going and suddenly there is dead weight on the other end of the collar. I was hoping, so badly, that this was a little phase he was going through because of the staples (which are out by the way, hopefully the hair will cover the scar), but sadly, he continues to be a pain in the butt while walking. I tried the praising while walking thing today, seemed to work a little better than other things I have been doing this week...

In all honesty, it has been a bit aggrivating the last couple of days. I think the mistake I made was giving into him when he was all stapled up and cut our walks short. Now he tries this always. As I mentioned it is getting better, just need to get him back into the mindset that I am the boss, not him...

The getting ready for running isnt really going to swell, trip to Houston really ruined that one. Call me crazy, but I am not really up for running in 90+ degree weather with 90+ degree humidty. I will get back to it tomorrow, maybe...

Let's paint a picture...

<--- not Blue - from ihasahotdog.com

I will start of with talk about what happened to my boy Blue this weekend. So, we had the ice cream social on Saturday and had a wonderful time! So, some guy saw the plethora of greyhounds and thought to himself, 'I am going to bring my dog over there and say hi.' He came out of the Red Bandanna a few stores down. So, Blue and a few of the other hounds said hello and they were done with it, I was done making sure the encounter went well, but still lent an eye that way. There was a smushed ice cream cone between the other dog and Blue, well the other dog (being a little white mutt, some pit/bull dog/boxer mix) decided it was his and let Blue know it. He went after Blue, Blue gave a growl and a snap back, but I was jerking him towards me as this occurred. I thought everything was fine, but noticed that there was a little gash in Blue's neck about the size of a nickel. Patti P. gave me some provisions to get him all doctored up for the night and Monday it was off to the vet for staples. He is now Franken-dog with 3 staples in his neck.

OK, so here is the picture I want to paint for you. The above is just me griping...

Blue and i go on 2 mile walks every day, so I didn't think having 3 staples in his neck would change his want to go on our walk, I would find out the contrary about a mile into our walk. So, we are going well and he is getting his trot on and we are at our usual pace. We get about a mile from the Jeep and it is time to turn around, well Blue wants to continue walking away from the Jeep, well this is not going to happen because we have reached the end of the trail. We did some circles, but nothing. I could not do what I usually do, just because he has the staples in his neck and do not want to rip the stitches. So, what do I do? I pick-up my 75 pound greyhound and start walking back to the Jeep, this is on Azalea Dr, a pretty busy street at 6:30 pm on a Monday, so you can imagine the looks I am getting. We do this for a little while, I set him down he walks a little, stops, and then looks up at me... repeat lifting of dog... he has never done this and after reading about the drugs he was on, I think I may have my answer. Eventually, some joggers came and this usually makes him walk. I carried him about a quarter of the way back, nice little workout for me. I was very upset with him, but I forgave him due to his being all stitched up.

How much do I love him? :)

Training has begun...

I started getting into the running thing again today to get ready for the 5k. I did 2 miles and by my calculations, the is 2/3's of the way to the 5K! Funny thing about running away from your car, you have to run back to it... I did knock out the first mile, no problem. I would like to think I did it in less than about 10 minutes. On the way back to the Jeep, I did the run a minute walk a minute thing, slow and steady wins the race (or something like that). I was a bit hungry before I ran, but the 2 dozen bugs I ate while running filled me right up!

I celebrated my run with cold pizza and beer... probably set myself back with that one huh? :)

I guess walking Blue about 10 miles a week has kept me in somewhat good shape to where I can still run when I want to and not stop by the side of the road and heave my guts out after a quarter of a mile. I will try to keep up with updates with how I am doing, if I make it though this whole ordeal without quitting or hurting myself, I would say it will be amazing! I am not accident prone, but I am prone to being lazy...

Six things...

So, I have been tagged to do a meme from Ms. Patti. If you would like to know what meme means, go there. Like Heather one might say I am a virgin to this. It has been a while since I have update this, found this to be a good time to go ahead and write something... Here goes nothing, I really have no secrets...

1. I will avoid crowds of people at all costs

Now, I enjoy parties and things of that nature, but put me in a line of people to wait on something, say waiting to get on a roller coaster or just in the middle of a big crowd leaving an event, I cant stand it. Something about some strange person touching me, I do not like it. In the party situation, you can usually find me enjoying conversation with 1 or a few people. I am not the life of the party, I just truly enjoy the people/persons I am speaking with and enjoy them, just them, no one else exists. If I am not haveing a conversation with someone, you can usually find me in a corner somewhere, observing...

2. I have a man crush

I am secure with myself and who I am, and I must say that Albert Pujols is the most amazing man that has ever walked this planet and played the game of baseball. Albert plays for the St. Louis Cardinals, started in the outfield and took over first base when the andro-roid freak known as Mark McGuire stopped playing ball. He is the only player that has hit 30 or more home runs in his first 7 seasons and will more than likely make this 8 seasons at the close of this season, he is at 24 as I write this. 'The Pujols' has slowed his production over the last few seasons HR wise due to a continued ailing elbow that needs surgery, but continues to state that he is fine. He continues to hit for AVG, currently hitting over .340 this season and won the batting title in 2003 (I think, pretty sure though). Anyways, 'The Pujols' is a machine, he is by far the best all around baseball player in the game today and anyone who brings up A-Rod in comparison to him can take a flying leap!

3. I have no filter

This gets me in trouble sometimes, but I really could careless. I say what I think, it usually does not go through a filter. This is why my best friend Brian and I get along so well. At work, there are times when I say things and I pretty much say you are dumb, without saying it, it is hanging there, but yeah, I do keep it semi-professional at work. I guess this is why I have earned the title as a-hole amongst some people (ex-girlfriends mostly... hey, this might be why I am single).

4. Nakedness is great!!!

I have no problem with being naked, I know some people leave this for the shower and sometimes in the sack, but honestly, if I lived alone, there would be no clothes involved. I wish I had a home with a pool. I would go skinny dipping more often but I would not like to be thrown in jail for jumping the fence and skinny dipping in the community/apartment pool (I am over my rebellious stage, kinda...).

5. I have had experiences with ghost's

I know this sounds some what queer, but honestly, they do exist. I work with a girl who has had experiences as well, we should probably write a book!

Every place I have lived in, with exception of the current apartment, I have have some sort of interaction with something not living. Sort of hard to explain, but yeah, it happens. I could go into stories and get into some detail that may give you chills down you spine, but yeah, this will be left for other conversation in person if you care to hear. (Micheal Phelps just won 8 gold medals)

6. I have no vices

I am addicted to nothing. There are some that will say that I could not live without Starbucks coffee, but I truly go there to talk to the cute brunette that I will probably never ask on a date because I am afraid of being shot down. We will not talk about that, but the coffee. I drink the coffee just because it is truly a good start to the day, it relaxes me and gets me ready for my day. Could I get through my day without it, yes, but it makes it so much more enjoyable with that cup of Joe. By the way, I do not drink the fru-fru, sugar laced, syrupy garbage that is available at this establishment. (Oh, I do not like chocolate)

I guess I am a little obsessed with trying new things that have an effect on my body. I was a vegetarian for about a month, felt no different than I did when I ate meat (I really do not eat meat much anyways).

So, that is a little bit about me, I really have nothing to hide however. I have no skeletons...

I am not going to tag anyone on this, pretty much everyone I know doing this Blog thing has already filled this out.

Any questions? :)

Blue is great, he is here sitting by me and approves this blog...